By virtue of being human, we are on a never-ending quest for happiness.  

You can feel it when immersed in the pages of a heart-pounding book, in the company of your favorite people, when someone compliments your hard work, or when indulging in your favorite dessert. 

However, like everything in this world, it doesn’t last as long as you wish it to.

After the last chapter, you are left feeling empty, and your beloved companions can’t stick around 24/7. The same person who praises you today can find a reason to blame you tomorrow. And after your last bite of cheesecake, it’s easy to feel insecure and count calories (which I don’t recommend)!

We often get frustrated that things don’t go according to our meticulous planning. We don’t see the unpredictable nature of this world for what it is – a precious gift. Why? Because if we’re smart thinkers, it will help us realize that the only thing worth our main focus, deserving our labour of love, is the Hereafter.

As we scroll through social media, we witness picture-perfect celebrities with their glowing skin, good-looking families, and gorgeous houses. A while later, we are shocked to hear that they have been rushed to hospital for a drug overdose, that their seemingly idyllic marriage has hit the rocks, or that their children have been arrested for criminal behaviour.  Attempted suicide is also on the rise, and while, as Muslims, we wish the best for everyone, we cannot blind ourselves to the lessons in such cases.

The things of this dunya were not created to fulfill our emptiness, they were not made for permanence or perfection, so what happens when we lean on it for our ultimate happiness?

It will inevitably fail us, and for some, this dissatisfaction and disappointment lead to their ruin (may Allah protect us all, Aameen).

If I were to ask you, “Is there something worrying you?” or “Are you stressing over anything?” The overwhelming majority of you would answer with the affirmative.  

But on the other hand, if I were to ask you to think of all your blessings versus all of your problems and weigh them on an imaginary scale, there is no doubt that the good in your life far outweighs the bad. The fact that you have the vision to read this reminder, functional fingers to scroll down, and a wonderous brain to process this information is just scratching the surface of your personal miracles from Allah.

So, the question is, are you patient enough to actively seek the silver linings in the dark clouds?

Yes, there is more than one bright thread in the darkness!  Because with every hardship, Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى   promises many eases:

“For indeed, with hardship [will be] ease. Indeed, with hardship [will be] ease.”

[ Surah Sharh: 5-6]

And are you grateful enough for things going well that you exert patience in observing Allah’s limits?

Gratitude and patience are two peas in a pod, and here are some instances that should inspire us to be people of sabr and shukr.

The very next verse centers us with an all-encompassing solution:

"And so, when you have finished your duties, continue to strive in devotion. And direct your longing to Your Lord."

[ Surah Sharh: 7-8]

An exemplary father and son

Yaqub عليه السلام lost his sweet son, Yusuf عليه السلام, whom he knew was destined for greatness.  He also suspected that his older offspring had plotted to get rid of him. In his situation, it would have been understandable for him to despise his older sons, who addressed him disrespectfully and behaved arrogantly. But no, he adopted beautiful patience, where he took his troubles to His Lord, knocking on His door for many years while still treating the rest of his family well.

Of course, he must have searched for Yusuf, but what can an old man do against this stubborn, strong band of young men who insist that he was being delusional?  He could trust in Allah and know that His Promise is true.  He could seek peace through patience and prayer because evil can and should only be repelled with good.

The Quran teaches us in Surah Fussilat, ayah 34;

“And not equal are the good deed and the bad. Repel [evil] by that [deed] which is better; and thereupon, the one whom between you and him is enmity [will become] as though he was a devoted friend.”

And Yusuf عليه السلام was the embodiment of gratitude to Allah, even when ripped away from his loving father and sold into slavery as a commodity, his thankfulness to Allah guided him to rise above temptation and dishonor. 

When the wife of the minister tried to seduce him, and he said, “[I seek] the refuge of Allah. Indeed, he is my master, who has made good my residence. Indeed, wrongdoers will not succeed.”

[Surah Yusuf:23]

And it makes sense because we learn that “He who does not thank the people is not thankful to Allah.”

[Sunan Abi Dawud 4811]

So, in essence, he عليه السلام was displaying his gratitude to Allah by refusing to disobey Him by committing zina (adultery) and to betray al-Azeez (the minister) who had treated him well.

This is so profound because Yusuf عليه السلام ‘s life was rife with loss and hardships, but he knew how to find and unveil the blessings, having tawakkul (reliance) in Allah’s Plan and trusting that everything will fall into place in the most beautiful of ways. And it did.

Optimism vs. Pessimism

No one is tested like those whom Allah loves.  And the most beloved of Allah, Muhammad ﷺ was tested severely throughout every stage of his life, yet his constant radiant smile was one of the most prominent features about him.

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) said,

“Remembering good times is from Iman.”

What you focus on grows, and what you feed your thoughts transforms your reality.  Many times, the reason we feel down in the dumps is that we are determined to take the worst possible view of a situation! Our state of despondency then translates into regrettable behaviour that hurts both ourselves and those around us.

This simple piece of advice from our beloved Prophet ﷺ equates choosing to dwell on happy memories as worship, which essentially means that it benefits us (in this world and the next) and causes us to be sources of khair (goodness) too.

As a psycho-spiritual specialist, Sister Mehahal Begawala cites, where your mind goes when something happens to you has a massive influence on your feelings which, in turn, alters your external interactions.

For instance, imagine you’re in a rush and trip over something on the pavement.  If your thoughts are along the lines of, “These horrible things always happen to me!” or “People are so careless.”, you’re automatically going to feel irritated, and the next person you’re going to meet is not likely to receive a warm response from you.

However, if instead, you say, “Alhamdulillah, that was close, glad I didn’t fall flat on my face!”, then your heart will feel light, and you may even be moved to remove the harmful object from the pavement, earning Allah’s pleasure and reward in the process!

SubhanAllah, the exact same circumstance but entirely different mindsets, and it’s up to you whether or not you choose the one that benefits both you and others and puts forth goodness for your Hereafter.

Does that mean that if you cry tears of sadness and nurse a heavy heart, you’re being ungrateful to Allah?

Not at all.  

When the Prophet ﷺ lost his little son, Ibrahim, the Best of Mankind wept.

And what did he say, explaining his beautiful sunnah even amid deep anguish?

“Verily, the eyes shed tears and the heart grieves, and we are saddened over your departure, O Ibrahim. But we will not say except that which is pleasing to our Lord."

[Bukhari 1303]

As Dr. Omar Suleiman describes, “Sabr is to grieve with perspective.”

Islam does not teach us to bottle up our feelings and become robots; it gives us the tools to process our emotions and transform them into something balanced and productive.

The first stroke of Calamity

The Messenger of Allah (ﷺ) teaches us,

“(Real) Patience is at the first stroke of the calamity."

[at-Tirmidhi 988]

What do we do when there’s a power cut, and we’re thrown into disorienting darkness?

Do we wail and despair, do we curl up into a ball and give up? No, we feel around for our phone and switch on the torch; we go in search of our stash of candles.

In the same way, instead of immediately plunging into a panic attack when things go south, when your plans are derailed or you hear dreadful news, seek out Allah’s Light.

Never doubt that He will provide it, but it’s up to you to expect the best from the One who calls Himself the Most Merciful, the best Disposer of all our affairs.

In a Hadith Qudsi we learn that Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى says,

“I am as My servant thinks I am.”

[40 Hadith Qudsi, Hadith 15]

Many people associate sabr with doing nothing but waiting passively for relief. However, this is not the case, patience is an active state and an act of worship!

 Imam As-Sa’di highlights in his amazing book, “Useful Ways of Leading a Happy Life”,

When faced with circumstances of grief and sorrow, the believer must adopt 3 steps:

1. They overcome what they can overcome.
2. They lessen what (of the calamity) they can lessen.
3. They persevere with beautiful patience (not complaining about Allah or engaging in unhealthy attitudes, but turning to Allah with complete trust) over what they have no power to resist.

We need to reframe our thinking from “Why is Allah doing this to me?” to “Praise be to Allah in every circumstance - Alhamdulillahi Ala Kulli Haal.”

However, this does not mean we don’t seek help, that we don’t try our best to deal with our troubles according to the best of our ability, all the while knowing with certainty that if all else fails you, Allah never will.

Be a healing presence

Adopting patience and gratitude also helps strengthen your relationships with those around you – as long as you take the (sincere) initiative.

It could be as simple as starting a WhatsApp group with a bunch of friends to highlight something new to be grateful for each day or the logging moments that made you smile in a creative gratitude journal. 

Sit with your kids and reflect on the blessings in their experiences and tell your spouse the dreamy qualities you love about them.  Don’t forget your parents, the primary recipients of your excellent treatment (ihsan)! Thank them for guiding you through your highs and lows from day one (a heroic feat), and be of gracious service to them because gratitude is not just about flowery words, it’s also about performing the actions that please Allah.

Be that person who reminds others of Allah just by being – such is the value they add to the people and places they encounter.

Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى doesn’t just gift us randomly; He generously gives us exactly what we need. So, if we’re truly grateful slaves, we would display thoughtfulness with His creation and customize what we offer them.

Sometimes, it could be telling a person exactly what they need to hear - to hold on to hope and expect only good from Allah when they feel like they are drowning in hardship or that life is too full of impossible choices.

Tell them (and yourself) that Allah has put you in this situation only because He knows you can handle it.

Surah Al-Asr talks about how man’s default state is of loss, and how time is constantly working against us. But as with everything, Allah سُبْحَانَهُ وَتَعَالَى provides us with a beautiful, customized solution.

“By time,

Indeed, mankind is in loss.

Except for those who have believed and done righteous deeds and advised each other to truth

and advised each other to patience.”  

[Al-Asr: 1-3]

So, as you can see, the true ‘superheroes’ are those who bounce back with a smile from everything that tries to take them down and make the world a better place by enjoining sabr and shukr upon the Truth (haqq).

May Allah make us all among them, keep us steadfast believers upon righteousness, and ease our hearts in the most amazing ways.

Allahumma Aameen