Sometimes uncomfortable experiences, especially those that expose you to yourself, teach you invaluable life lessons.

One velvety silent night I woke up for Tahajjud, feeling that exhilaration and honour of a special conversation with Allah and His Closeness to us: the King of kings approaching us beggars and welcoming our pleas to Him.

The Prophet ﷺ told us,

“Our Lord Almighty descends to the lowest heaven in the last third of every night, saying: Who is calling upon Me that I may answer him? Who is asking from Me that I may give him? Who is seeking My forgiveness that I may forgive him?”

[Sahih al-Bukhari 1145]

There is something surreal about this time; as you may have felt, it’s like an otherworldly capsule that unlocks the hidden vaults in your heart.

It lets overflow your deepest worries, hopes, anxieties, and yearnings, directed to Allah, the Only One Who Knows and Understands.

And so, I poured my heart out to Allah, wording my dream du’as with the same breathless wonder as the first time I made them because each time I made these du’as I was connecting with my Rabb. If He said ‘Kun’ (Be), it will be.  

While I was winding up my heavy-duty du’as, one just randomly slipped out. I had an exam due, and with juggling work and other commitments, I was worried about scoring well. I asked Allah, quite unexpectedly, to grant me the ability to score full marks on the test.

If you think about it, that’s a power move; the du’a made at Tahajjud is like an arrow that never misses its target! I was quite satisfied and reassured that I would score 100% on the next day’s assessment.

The next day I decided to complete the online exam before getting lost in my daily tasks, so I opened up my laptop and began, still feeling that floating sense of tranquility from talking to Allah in that blessed space.

It was not a difficult paper, but it took a lot of time due to its tricky nature, and by the end of it I was quite ready to press submit and move on!

I paused, feeling a breathless flutter in my heart.

No, I warned myself internally, you’ve done this before. Every time you don’t re-check your answers, you find that you’ve made horrendous mistakes, despite knowing them!

My fingers hovered uncertainly over the keyboard.

Another part of me, equal parts laziness and stress at my workload, warred with this voice: You did the paper slowly and carefully, it won’t make a difference if you go back and check.

I took a deep breath and pressed submit. The screen shifted to show me that I had marked all the questions.

I had another chance at the bottom to submit or return. I fought the same battle with myself, feeling increasingly annoyed because of how strong a part of me wanted to turn back and do the right thing.

I tapped sharply at the ‘submit’ button, feeling frustrated at my own hasty choice.

Still, one more message. Are you sure you want to submit it?

A third chance. The practical voice in my head grew more insistent, and I knew I had made careless mistakes, not only from past experiences but also from the nature of this subject, which was the most challenging in my course.

However, my stubbornness had also increased in proportion. If you did make a few mistakes, what does it matter? You’re tired. You have a busy day ahead of you.

And so, I let my final chance pass.

As you may guess, dear readers, I did not score a 100% on my test.

And the jarring part is that I knew this before clicking submit- I let myself give in to laziness, stubbornness, and wishful thinking.

As I went through the rest of the day with a heavy heart; predictably, Shaitaan tried his sneaky tactics to get me to question the power of du’a and the promise of the significance of Tahajjud.

This is where Allah guided me to shift my perspective; my lens of viewing the situation. Instead of fretting at how my du’a wasn’t answered, I made istighfar; I sought forgiveness of Allah for my own actions.

 The actions of mine that worked against the answering of my du’a!

And Alhamdulillah, due to the beneficial knowledge that always keeps me grounded in Who Allah is and how He always plans in my favour, I submitted to the decree He knew was better for me.

And if I was honest with myself- I hadn’t acted like I wanted it. I hadn’t taken the opportunity to do my best despite having the ability to do so.

I recalled this hadith:

Anas ibn Malik reported: A man said, “O Messenger of Allah, should I tie my camel and trust in Allah, or should I leave her untied and trust in Allah?” The Prophet ﷺ said, “Tie her and trust in Allah.”

[Tirmidhi 2517]

The outcome is entirely in Allah’s Hands; it's ultimately His Decision.

But we need to be able to look ourselves in the eye and say: “I tried my best.”

I have had my dua’s answered in ways that amazed me, SubhanAllah.

Those du’as were my most sincere ones. How do I know that? Because I strived for them, I put in my best effort and left the outcome to Allah.

Then, if we get what we want, Alhamdulillah. And if we don’t get it, then Alhamdulillah again, because with Allah, the response is always better than we could fathom or imagine.

So, take those steps toward what you want.  Do what Allah has placed within your control, whether it’s leaving a sin, starting a beneficial course, changing a lifestyle pattern, mending a relationship, or rechecking an exam paper!

 Look around you, look in the mirror, look at all Allah has already given you already, and use it- be animated toward your dreams. Be a worshipper who strives, just like Allah’s Chosen people- the Prophets, their companions, and the ‘Awliyah (righteous friends of Allah) عليه السلام - did in their noble and visionary pursuits.

The believer is not passive and reactive; we need to be proactive and intentional in everything we do so that we achieve great things with Allah’s Help while aiming high for His Pleasure.

May Allah make us strong believers who are humble, passionate, and hardworking. May He enrich us with truth-seeking hearts and all the actions that He loves and that elevate us closer and closer to Him. And may He perfect our Tawakkul, our reliance on Him alone, guiding us to do our utmost best with a tranquil heart, leaving the decision to Him.

Allahumma Aameen.